Saturday, October 21, 2006
As hard as things may be from here on. I'll face the challenges, endure, and ensure I come out with victory in hand. Suicidal thoughts come and go. But they can't be helped. Who wouldn't want to take the shortcut when in a challenge? But I want to right my wrongs before I go. Who knows I'll gain back their love in the process? Who knows what else will I learn and gain in the process? I will not forget to have faith in Allah yang Esa. Allah yang Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang. Therefore with a strong belief in Allah, everything will be fine. Allah knows best. Therefore when Allah sent this ordeal upon me, a solution to the matter was sent down with it. It's now my job to find it.
I now understand why we teenagers always make wrong turns. We don't love Allah enough. We don't love our parents enough. If we love our parents enough, we'll dare not lie to them, be discordant towards them, insubordinate them, disrespect them. If we love our parents, we would always confide to them, embrace them, be submissive towards them, think highly of them, cherish them. Many of us think we do.Think again, think deeply, think of how you've been treating you dear parents. Do you really love your parents?
Maaf kata lah eh. Tapi those(including myself) yang asyik melepak dengan kawan, mengumpat, mengeluarkan kata-kata maki dan (sekali lagi, maaf kata) mempunyai matair tanpa izin ibu bapa. You don't love your parents. Cuz if you do, you tak rela melakukan perkara-perkara tersebut. You'd be afraid to do those things cuz you don't want to ruin your parent's name. Same goes to those who love Allah. They'll be more afraid of what Allah thinks of them rather than what the world thinks of them. And you'd be afraid to ruin the name of the religion of Truth, Islam.
I admit that I too am a rebellious child. Always mistreating my parents. Never thinking for doing something. It took me 14 years and 14 years of experience to learn and realise how much my parents and Allah actually love me. I've done enough wrong, enough sins already. I've done to much harm to myself. How I harm myself? Well, I've done things that in the end, hurt me emotionally. I've done things to hurt my parents as well, I realise that. And now I regret oh-so much. I really wish others won't be like me. I want to tell people to do the right things. I want to show them. Before it's to late. But I can't make people do things they don't want to do. They'll have to face their own obstacles and learn on their own.
Ingatlah. Allah paling mengakasihi kamu, lebih daripada sesiapa lagi. Ibu bapa adalah orang yang menitiskan peluh & darah gara-gara kamu. Dan iman kamu adalah mutiara. Tebalkannya. Kerana ia yang akan melindungi kamu dari maksiat dan perkara-perkara buruk yang dibenci oleh Allah s.w.t. Jangan menjadi musuhNya. Dan syaitan adalah musuh kamu yang ternyata. Jangan sekalipun mengikut kata-katanya. Tolonglah, jangan.
When I said, "I'll never be the same girl as I was before, ". I seriously meant it. What has passed, has passed. Learn form it and move on. To those that have brought me joy, thank you soo much. To those who have hurt me, and hurt me badly, I pray that you will be shown the right path. And finally to those who I've hurt, please, please, forgive me. No matter what my actions were, they were driven by my alter ego. I know I should have never did or said those things. So please forgive me. Please.
This post is extremely long. But to those who've read it full, I hope hatimu dibuka dan Insya'allah kamu akan berubah. What I've learnt?
I owe no one a living.
I need no man to bring me happiness.
All I need is The Almighty and family.
--- *Reiha@10:22 AM ---
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